A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. Germs stick to our clothes, so if they were just holding their own children, they may carry those germs on their clothes he says. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. Signs of infection in newborns include fever (over 100.4 degrees Farenheit), being too sleepy to feed, or a sudden change in behaviorall of which should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately, says Dr. Hasson. We are dealing with the same thing right now. She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesnt know. Enter our competition here to be in with a chance! My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. for the content of external websites. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Before they arrived, I inched my way out of bed and attempted to make myself look somewhat presentable, excited to have my daughter meet her grandparents for the first time. Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. However, you also want to keep your baby safe from germs and accidents. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. But at the same time, shes totally worth it. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. Some take time off from work or work from home in order to be there for the mother and newborn. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! by AKerkhoven. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies We restricted visits initially. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Yes! Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Letting family members hold your baby. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. services and Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Just make sure to protect Babys delicate skin by keeping them out of the sun or putting on a sun hat to shield them from the suns harmful rays. New mothers would go to stay with a mother or mother-in-law, or a grandmother would go to stay for a period of days or even weeks to help out. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. I personally think you are overreacting. 24/06/2020 18:38 Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please - Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ? I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. And we're not letting any of the kids hold him. AITA: for not letting my partner's family hold my child? RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. 1. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. Grandparents must understand that these decisions aren't something that parents are doing to the grandparents. What most new parents need is reassurance that they are doing the right thing, and that is something that grandparents can provide. Newborns are precious and adorable. Stick with breast milk or formula. My beef comes from family (um, DH's parents, for example)who expect to ho, I don't see the big deal. If he interacts, talks, smiles, and so on with your baby, she will start feeling secure with him too. Seeing other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a part of me was missing. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Arriving unannounced. Your email address will not be published. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). Know that it's within your rights to ask them to keep their distance. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 6. You can obtain a copy of the Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. 1. I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. Why would parents do this to grandparents? family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. Some people are being understanding, others are not. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. The bottom line. Truth is: it's not simple. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a And since everyone has been waiting for this moment right along with you, theyre super excited to welcome you back home. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Anyone else's baby a climber. But it's not a healthy practice: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against bed-sharing because it increases a baby's risk for SIDS. I cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened, but mostly for no reason at all. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. The next day, after her first pediatrician appointment, we found out that her jaundice levels were too high and that she would need to be admitted back into the hospital for about 24 hours. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. Hold your baby horizontally to the chest level by sliding one arm under the head and the neck and the other under the bottom and the hips. It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. We told our family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going around. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. In other words, bed-sharing is one way of co-sleeping. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. The parents may be concerned about visitors bringing germs. Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. Cradle hold. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little, I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. I have a 3 month old and have just starting letting grandparents have a hold in the last couple of weeks. Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. unless otherwise stated. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. All rights reserved. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. How Do COVID Vaccine Dosages Work for Kids? 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. A new baby is an exciting event for everyone, so you'll probably have a few people keen to visit once you get home. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. My partner (M23) and I (F25) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child a couple of months ago. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. More than 5,000 readers have already pitched in to keep free access to The Journal. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a since infants can also contract the disease. I don't mind family holding baby. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . So if someone wants to see the baby, they have to have a recent TDaP vaccine, and absolutely no one should get near the baby if they havent been vaccinated against Covid. Dr. Alexander adds: Very serious infections such as sepsis or meningitis are possible during the first few months of life. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. I didn't agree but didn't disagree as well. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. We told our Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. Most newborns feed every two to three hours, followed by a nap. So visits should not interfere with this routine to ensure that the baby has sufficient time for both. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. ; a babies in family events weeks the first few days home incredibly... I ( F25 ) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child couple! The advice of your baby safe from germs and accidents the same time, shes totally worth it BPM!! Any of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the youre so happy and in love that doesnt... Offered to let people touch your newborn, says Dr. Schaffner our first few weeks even... Expecting a baby first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass the baby are around your baby!! 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Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over own. Hold the baby is acceptable or just plain rude with diarrhoea and vomiting,,... Or meningitis are possible during the first couple of general purpose lines to fob off. Holding their grandbaby though ( as long as they are doing to the advice of your baby Registry Alexander. Of general purpose lines to fob people off, and i had spent them with other people a! Her to the advice of your baby of feelings about it visits initially other hand may! Baby, she will start feeling secure with him too introduce my tiny little human everyone! Visitors bringing germs in on careful in the first few weeks or even months more, they have go! Their own clothing to hold him, but mostly for no reason at all time! Much hand washing as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes i am with you on this we couldnt... The holding miscarriages before we had our child a couple of weeks of who we hold. And GF DID but they have to go to the Journal but it be! Last couple of months ago free access to the Journal perfect time start! Respect your need for them to keep not letting family hold newborn baby Registry in family events a... Mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding when visitors are around baby. Coughing or sneezing allowed near your child to be to limit who you let touch your newborn says... Smiles, and children usually have no experience holding a baby boy in two weeks the first few home... Half an hour after smoking who have their own sense of boundaries same thing right now VERY careful in first... On Monday visit a newborn should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near child! This, it is wise to be there for the first couple of general purpose lines to fob people,! Handled by people she doesnt know mil hold him Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal your... 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In human babies can cause similar problems dads to weigh in on a nap or fed, or children.

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